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### Motiba’s Recollections

I always enjoyed asking Motiba questions about herself and her life in the Ashram. Her pet opening to her response was: “I don’t remember much, my memory has faded. But I will try to tell you whatever I can.” I give here some interesting selections from her replies using, as far as possible, her own words.

>*Will you please tell me about your childhood and early life before you came to the Ashram?*

My father’s name was Nathuram, my mother’s name was Mooriben and our surname Tarwadi. We were Modh Brahmins. My father used to read the Puranas and do Yajnas and Havans. Being a priestly family, our economic condition was quite ordinary. Our family Deity was Galleshwar Mahadev, though we also worshipped Sri Krishna. Several times our family witnessed miraculous and wonderful blessings of Galleshwar Mahadev.

I lost my father at the age of six. I was married when I was only eight. My mother died within six months of my marriage. I went to my in-laws when I was fifteen and became a widow the next year. My husband Amthalal suddenly fell ill after returning from Bombay and died at@6@ the age of twenty-five on Mahashivaratri. My five sisters died one after another. I was the youngest daughter of my parents. My younger brother Mafatlal passed away at the age of eighteen.

I was terribly shocked by this series of untimely deaths of my near and dear ones and gradually lost all interest in life. Champaklal was very dear to me, but he had already settled in the Pondicherry Ashram.

>*How did you decide to go to Pondicherry?*

After Champaklal had settled permanently in Pondicherry, I decided to go there. I wrote a letter to Sri Aurobindo, asking for his permission to come. When I was living in Patan I had a darshan of him and the Mother in a vision. In it, I saw Sri Aurobindo walking continuously in the room where he used to walk and the Mother standing on the steps of the house’s staircase. Champaklal talked to the Mother about this vision and about my wish to stay in the Ashram. I had already sent my photograph.

You would find it very interesting to know how things got arranged for me. In Patan it had been decided to get Champaklal engaged to my sister-in-law. But Champaklal was firmly against marriage and did not want to leave the Ashram. So my relatives sent me with Kantilal to explain the situation to him and take him back to Patan — but instead I stayed back in the Ashram! First I stayed in a room in the Atelier, then in the Balcony house, and finally in the Post Office house. Now I live here in Champaklal’s room.@7@

I saw the Mother for the first time in this room itself, because in those days the Mother was staying in this room.

For the first six months I lived at my own expense. Then one day Mother called me and asked, “Do you want to stay here permanently?” “Yes Mother,” I replied; “if you permit me.” Thereafter Mother used to give me thirty rupees a month for my expenses.

>*Did your relatives try to persuade you to go back to your house in Patan?*

Yes, I received many letters, messages and telegrams from them. Finally Sri Aurobindo wrote a letter to them and they never called me again. Let me show it to you.

***

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